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I am a happily married woman. My husband and I have a good sex life, but he masturbates regularly. Every time I wake up before him he masturbates. Is this normal, or should I be worried?
This question was submitted to the HSAB by an actual iFriends user, and answered for recent publication.
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It sounds as though you are wondering to what extent masturbation is normal and that you are concerned about your husband’s masturbation habits. I think that this is a perfectly normal thing to wonder about. A woman may perceive that her husband’s masturbation is a reflection on her; it can mean to her that her husband is not getting his sexual needs fulfilled by her. This can leave her feeling frustrated, guilty, or angry. However, this perception may not be accurate. In many cases, masturbation is not a sign that sexual intimacy in a marriage is insufficient or inadequate. Some men masturbate simply because it feels good and it relieves tension. There are many people who enjoy a game of cards with a friend, but once in a while, or even on a regular basis, still like to play solitaire.
You mention that you are happily married and are satisfied with your sex life. It sounds, therefore, as though your husband’s masturbation habit does not detract from your sex life or otherwise take anything away from you. In fact, some research has shown that men who masturbate regularly may be more in tune with their own bodies and better able to control their ejaculation, which potentially improves sex for both of you. However, if you were to feel that your husband preferred masturbation over sexual relations with you, or that his need to masturbate interfered with your intimate life, or that your husband can only ejaculate with masturbation and not together with you, then this could potentially be a problem. From what you have described, however, this does not appear to be the case.
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Masturbation
